Rudyard Kipling

You mustn't groom an Arab with a file.
  You hadn't ought to tension-spring a mule.
You couldn't push a brumby fifty mile
  And drop him in a boiler-shed to cool.
I'll sling you through six counties in a day.
  I'll hike you up a grade of one in ten.
I am Duty, Law and Order under way,
  I'm the Mentor of banana-fingered men!
I will make you I know your left hand from your right.
  I will teach you  not to drink about your biz.
I'm the only temperance advocate in sight!
  I am all the Education Act there is!